My Mood Today:

On Easter, Clara's due date

My back hurts, possibly from falling when my leg was numb. I'm not sleeping well, though at least it is finally back in my own bed after months in a recliner. Clara's little lips are so dry, she must be going crazy, that is the worst feeling. I got a new phone almost a week ago, plugged it in to charge, haven't touched it since-probably need to activate it soon before they charge a fee. I need to go buy more wipes. My incision is crooked and puckered at one end, goodbye bikini dreams. When Clara comes home, she'll have a pump for food and oxygen and thus tubes all over her face-will I be able to hold and snuggle her properly still? What if she stops breathing and we don't see it and there are no machines to beep at us? All around us are friends and coworkers and acquaintances headed for Italy, having heart healthy, fully chromosomed babies. They are in the hospital for a minute, then they go home to bond and stare at each other and do the things we were supposed to be doing. I am so ready to have Clara in this house, by me all the time. I have so many questions before we leave the hospital, I must get up there soon to start asking them. Parents do this all the time, we'll figure it out. Clara is perfect, we'll just keep trying to catch up.